No, really?

Seriously - late 2007 was my last post? A mere two and a half years later...gosh, so much has happened that I almost don't want to 'go there'.

Most recently, 'we' decided (really all the pressure was on Mom) it was time to have Dad be placed in a nursing home. Ouch. That just hurts to type even. It's not supposed to happen this way yet, it is. I'm watching the PBS special of Carole King and James Taylor's Live at the Troubadour concert special and hearing every song is making me weep. With each note, each lyric, I can trace it back to a memory somewhere in my past...and that always leads back to my parents. The two strong, loving, dedicated people that I think I truly believed would always be there - never changing, ever the same. Over the last few months, the realization that my dad is weakening, he's obviously changing - it's so hard to wrap my mind around. It just shouldn't happen this way.

Then what way, then? A horrific disease that makes every breath painful? An accident that steals him away? No, just some Parkinson's and kidney failure...thankfully, he's definitely still with us - mind, body, and spirit. It was just getting too tough on Mom to care for him day in day out. They say getting old isn't for sissies. Ain't it the truth.

My mom and I went through an OLD scrapbook over Father's Day weekend...one picture that I will always treasure is me at about 6 months old sitting in my dad's lap at Christmastime. He's tipping his head back, sipping the end of a cup of coffee. I'm looking straight up at him as if to say, 'hey, save some for me!' Oh to be that young again, sitting in his lap, having those strong arms hold me...knowing it was all going to be ok.

It will be ok. I trust that God knows where we are and what we're struggling with but boy, to take just an ounce of my mother's worry, fear, sadness away would help me sleep better. Two and a half years have passed yet it does truly feel at times like a lifetime. I can't promise but I hope to be back soon. Hope you're all doing well out there in Bloggerland!