Time waits for no man, woman, or child...seriously, it's crazy that it's taken me this long to post. No excuses - life's just been nutty. Thanks to those of you trying to hunt me down...I've tried to visit your blogs and have done some quick reads...OD - way to go with the writing, Beth - how's your mom?, Sque - I'm still reeling over the latest developments in your life, Amanda - I'll send you corn bread mixes!! At least I think that's what you asked for....gotta go check again...girl from FL - I couldn't even bring myself to comment on how absolutely amazing the pics of your trip were...just beautiful. Speaking of trips - people, go check out some pics of Eddo's trip to Hawaii - just blissfully fun!
And of course there's my life. What's going on you ask? This is where I'd like to create my fantasy life and lead you all to believe things are just PEACHY keen. In the bigger picture, yeah, things are fine. Right now I'm just feeling a tad, well, cruddy. My folks can't make it to my best friend's wedding this month due to my dad's doctor telling him that it's time for that knee replacement surgery he's been putting off. When you ask? Oh, just TWO FLIPPIN' days before the wedding. My mom is so bummed and my dad feels bad but hey, the doctor says it's time, it's time. My dad has probably been in nutty pain over this but didn't want to go through the whole ordeal. Well, now that bone is hitting bone - he's kind of GOT TO. I know you'll keep daddio in your prayers on the 23rd. I appreciate it.
Then I move to a VERY INTENSE email dialogue, long distance phone call, get all the crap out in the open, sort of confrontation situation with a friend of mine. Honestly, I'd rehash it all here but I feel like I have already with my roomie 100 times. To bottomline it - we all have different sensitivities and areas we need to grow in. I'm thankful to have friends who will call me on the carpet (I hate rug burns.) and then also hear me out. It was hard stuff to say and then to also hear, but thank God, we got through and like I told my friend, I'm grateful that she cared enough to 'hang on' through it - we've both grown from it and our relationship is stronger for it. Boy, it sucked going through it though. :)
The wedding. As much as I love planning and preparing for events such as these, I'm tired of living it EVERY BLESSED MOMENT. I didn't get into it all at the time due to time constraints but the week right before my BF's SURPRISE shower was a living hell. I don't really want to tell 'her story' but she was very confused, tired, and was considering seriously postponing the wedding. (Just to alay all your fears - she's not doubting marrying her fiance' - it was more her just feeling overwhelmed by everything - all's well now.) I had to maintain this 'strong, everything's going to be ok' attitude and keep telling her that I would support whatever decision she made while FREAKING out because the shower was 72, then 48, then...X hours away! She ended up having a terrific conversation with a mentor of ours (a former pastor's wife of ours who so ROCKS!) She helped her lay out all that was buzzing around in ways I couldn't - kinda being too close to the situation, if you know what I mean. It was tough - she wanted the shower to be kept a surprise but if her talktimes hadn't gone as well as they had, I would have told her about the shower because it could have wigged her out pretty bad with that (quite literally) 'thrown at her' as well. Like my previous mini-post told you, it was a wonderful shower and am so glad we were able to go through with it, surprise and all. :) It was more living under that stress that almost broke me. But it didn't!
Here's a fun one to toss out there - ('fun' is being used sarcastically here, Sque, please know that) The day before his wedding one of my ex's calls me and asks (after some polite convo) if we could get together for coffee or dinner this week. YES - THIS WEEK - granted he and his now wife are postponing a honeymoon til Christmas - Hawaii, even, Eddo! - but come on - two days after your wedding and you want to go out with your EX? Please - let me go! He even joked on the phone that he considers me his 'second wife'- anything happens to the first, he's got my number. I really need to shut that boy down.
There's more (which will come later) but I think the kicker was this morning's email from the most recent ex. Yeah, he tells me that he's even more convinced that our break up was 'right' due to the fact that he's seeing some else now that he's very blessed by. Fabulous. So I emailed him back, being the strong, confident woman I am and told him A) God had honestly revealed that to me before our break up - that I should feel NO guilt over his moving from England to Seattle, WA because he wasn't doing it 'for me' (making the move to the States, that is) - it was truly for himself because he'd meet someone more suited for him there. B)That I'm happy for him and pray God's blessings over him. Yes, I meant that. Even though he couldn't take hearing me say that I didn't love him enough to marry him and decided he was going to say that I lied to him about a medical condition I have (nothing serious, can explain later) so he couldn't stay with me, I really want him to be happy. He's a good guy - but not a good one for me.
So yeah - I guess looking back part of the reason I hadn't blogged was probably because I had such crud to blog. Not that I think I need to post all happy smiley stuff - not at all - but there was just A LOT of crud I think I needed to get through a little before letting it all loose here :) The last bit is still rolling around in my heart and mind so I'd appreciate prayers concerning that. Thanks guys.
I haven't touched on the jobfront (yuck), the ministry front (yippee!), wonderful time with my family over Memorial Day (time in Maine is ALWAYS good for me!) and some other super things happenning...I'll try to soon! :) Hope this finds you doing ok, great even and if it doesn't - that's ok, too! Take care of your bad selves. Peace out.
