You know the nagging feeling...

that today is a special day for someone you know but can't remember? I get to work and it hits me! My friend's sister turns 18 today!!! Happy Birthday J!! When my friend's mom and this younger sis first came to the church I was ministering at J was a mere 11 years old...she got the lead in the annual Christmas children's production that I used to direct that year, too. What a kick...now she's off to college in a couple of weeks...weird.

So this past weekend was even more of a kick. The celebrations went off beautifully and my sister and I (and the new hub-to-be!) sat down and ironed out a vast majority of the details...I'm planning to head back up to Maine and nail down the rest in another week or two. It's going to be so sweet...a small ceremony & catered reception in my sister's huge backyard. I think my brother-in-law would be very happy so many friends & family members are going to be there surrounding my sister with their well wishes and love. I'm welling up just thinking about it - stop making me cry! ;)

It was just another incredible weekend at home with my family...one sis is hitting the big '50' tomorrow so we celebrated that as well. An older sis made a FABULOUS collage of pics for the sis hitting 50 - scary to think that of about 85% of the pics, I wasn't even alive yet! It's so surreal sometimes to think about how my family was over 20 years in existence then I came along! On Sunday some family friends went to church with us that were visiting from Alaska (how cool). They had helped my parents start a church, oh, a good 17 years before I was born. I had 'met' these friends when I was two. Didn't really remember that (my 1st memory is about 3 months later at my eldest sister's wedding) so felt like I knew these people so well due to my parents' telling me about them since I really CAN remember!

Anywho-we had lunch at my parents' home after church and it was great to catch up...kids in college, in ministry, getting married, etc. When they met me they couldn't believe I was A & C's 'youngest' - it was all just a tad trippy. At one point I completely forgot I was 35...I felt like 15 all over again with my life entirely out there in front of me. On my way home Sunday night - back down to Boston, I revisited that feeling.

Being unmarried & with no dependents (that I'd call my actual 'children' ;) ), in a transitiony job, & still pondering what my life is meant to be 'all about' - I guess whatever life I have left here, it is still all out there in front of me. I mean, yes, I realize I'm 'as old' as I am and have made certain decisions that have landed me here but I was getting kinda jazzed about the 'where I am right now' deal.

I really can't focus on the not being married & not having the house-full of munchkins running around (I know, grass is ALWAYS greener, etcetcetc) because there's not too much I can do about that right now. I've gone down many a road to try and change that situation but after this last relationship...I'm done driving. My hands are quite literally off the steering wheel in that realm. (I know, they shouldn't have 'been on the wheel' to begin with...) Seeing how blissfully happy my sister is as she approaches marriage once again...yes, I want that but boy, I'm so not going to force it. I do not want to be the woman that's out there every weekend trying to 'find him'. Not that I think I can just sit back and honestly expect that knock at my door from Mr. Right, but for the here & now, I'm very content with just waiting a bit. I trust God and really, that's all I need - my faith in God Who knows exactly how He made me.

Didn't really plan for this post to head in this direction...I only wanted to dwell on the bliss of being 'home' this past weekend...oh, yeah, and to share that 'The Dukes of Hazard' was pretty funny. Saw it last night & felt like it paid just a lil homage to the TV show (ohhowIlovedJohnSchneider!!!) but Johnny & Seann William were easy on the eyes and a hoot to watch. Whatever Jessica did to get her bod looking like it did (and does?) - wow. She does look amazing in the flick & she really wasn't too bad actingwise. (code for 'she doesn't have too many lines!)

Gotta go sip some of my moonshine! Have a great Wednesday, y'all!